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TworDash the Chinchilla - Can you figure out his secret?

TworDash the Chinchilla paced around his icy lair while caressing his wizard’s hat. “NO one will be able to figure out my secret! I don’t care if I have to freeze in this ice prison for an eternity.” Then his assistant, Mastikator spoke through his walrus tusks, “But master, if you don’t tell the Citizens of the Ice City how to melt the ice soon, we will die here.” TworDash pulled at his whiskers, “If the Citizens of Ice made my Iced Latte correctly in the first place, I wouldn’t have had to freeze their entire planet in the first place.” Mastikator started crying and his tears froze before they could hit the floor. As they shattered, TworDash came up with an idea. “I have a plan, Mastikator. Stop your blubbering and start the engine on my Subaru.” TworDash and Mastikator hopped in the Subaru and drove deep into the heart of the Ice City. There TworDash double parked in front of the Official Office of Prince Ferdinand. The receptionist greeted TworDash and Mastikator as they entered the blue double doors. “I don’t think Prince Ferdinand can see you now sirs. I think he’s in a meeting.”

TworDash concentrated and his Wizard Hat began to glow. He then stared directly at her Styrofoam coffee cup. The cup hovered in the air and then gently flew into TworDash’s little claw. He took a few sips, “Hmm. Hazlenut Drip Coffee, with a couple Moo Milks added to the mix…Quite delicious. I’ll be taking this off your pretty little hands.”

Mastikator clapped his flippers together with excitement, “Oh! If Prince Ferdinand is in a meeting…when do you think he’ll be done?”

The receptionist pulled a long piece of gum out of her mouth and said, “Well, since time has slowed down because of how cold it is around here, I’m guessing Prince Ferdinand will be done in about two thousand years.” TworDash gulped the rest of the coffee and then threw the cup on the floor, “We don’t have time for that. I’m going to have to make you explode now.” Then the receptionist exploded. The giant wooden door to Prince Ferdinand’s office blew open and TworDash and Mastikator walked in side by side with their arms folded. “So,” Prince Ferdinand said, “You exploded my receptionist. This must be important. Sandra do you mind coming back on Tuesday?” Sandra packed up her briefcase, “No Prince, I don’t mind.” Prince Ferdinand straightened his high collar on his regal jacket, “Ok. Now that we are alone. What do you want, Twor-Dash?”

TworDash smiled, “Well Ferdinand, it seems like we both have something the other wants. You want the  secret to my Chilling Spell and I want my Spaceship Leviathan unearthed.” Prince Ferdinand frowned, “What are you proposing?” TworDash pointed at Mastikator, he finished eating a slimy barracuda fish and then said, “Master TworDash is proposing that you dig up his spaceship using the labor of your citizens and put the Spaceship Leviathan on top of the mountain of ice that’s created from the digging. Then and only then, will Master TworDash give you the secret to undoing his Chill-Spell.

Prince Ferdinand looked at the blueprints and diagrams of the operation, “Interesting indeed. But why don’t you just tell me the secret now and then melt the ice. Then we can simply tow  the Spaceship Leviathan to shore?” TworDash slapped the blueprints out of the Prince’s hands. “Are you trying to trick me, Ferdinand?” He twitched his whiskers. “Do you think I was born yesterday? Stick to the plan or it’s NO DEAL!”

With a few strokes of his quill pen, Prince Ferdinand signed into law that 10,000 of his citizens would be sentenced to hard labor in the excavation and repositioning of TworDash’s spaceship. “It seems I have no choice. Very well, TworDash.”

For 40 days the citizens of the Ice City labored in order to unearth the Spaceship Leviathan. Many citizens grew weak and froze in the cold. Then, on the 40’th day they finished digging the spaceship out of the ice and they dragged it to the top of the newly created ice mountain. It’s peak sat atop a mighty mountain. It stood miles upon miles high. So high in fact, that the Spaceship Leviathan was now practically in orbit of the Ice Planet. Then TworDash and Mastikator drove up the mountain using the all wheel drive in the Subaru and they double parked at the apex next to the spaceship. Prince Ferdinand spoke, “Citizens. This is a glorious day. We have toiled and labored and it has been painful work but well worth it. For we have now bargained for our salvation!” Prince Ferdinand walked from his podium up to the portal to the Spaceship Leviathan, where TworDash and Mastikator were standing in the door. “All right, Twor-Dash. We have done what you asked. Now, tell us how to break this Chill-Spell on our world!”

Then TworDash and Mastikator went inside the Leviathan and shut the door behind them. “Mastikator, hit the engines! Let’s hope we’re high enough in altitude that we can escape this wretched planet’s gravity.” Mastikator pushed a purple button and the Leviathan began to lift away from the mountain of ice. Then TworDash rolled down his window next to Prince Ferdinand and yelled, “HA! I’ll never tell you my SECRET!!!” And then the Spaceship Leviathan blasted off into deep space heading toward the Horsehead Nebula.

…TO BE CONTINUED…

-Tyler

Most of the time I’ll go to Starbucks and get my drink to-go. But sometimes I stick around and either read or write in my journal. It’s those times where something strange in the pastry case happens…I see the CHEESE DANISH. There’s something special about the Cheese Danishes at Starbucks, I am not 100% sure about this…but I think they’re telepathic. (It’s probably the cheese that makes them telepathic) This is what happens: I order a drink and usually ask for a glass of ice water as well. Then I sit down and start reading. After about 30-40 minutes or so I usually want to refill my water. And then on my way to talk to the Barista I sense something from the Pastry Case. And I look over at the case, and I usually see the regular cookies and scones. But sometimes there is a Cheese Danish lurking on the shelf…taunting me. When I look at the other pastries nothing special happens, I see them and think, “Oh that’s nice. What a pleasant little scone.” or, “Those mini donuts don’t look very healthy, I want one.” But when I turn to the Cheese Danish, I stop thinking to myself, and I listen…The whole store seems to get quiet, like an empty church and then I hear a voice. It isn’t a voice like someone is talking to you. It’s more like REMEMBERING something that is already deep in your mind, yet has never been spoken by you or your desires before.

So I peer closer into the case and observe the sweet cheese of the danish, and its flaky delicious crust. And I hear…”Hey, you only had cereal for breakfast huh? That was hours ago. That latte you bought was good, but it wasn’t sweet. I’m not too sweet, but you know I belong with you…in your stomach.” I look away, not exactly sure of what is going on and check to see if the line has moved forward at all. But the line hasn’t budged an inch! In fact, time hasn’t moved forward at all. I try to see if I can squeeze ahead to get my water refilled, but the Baristas are busy and deep down I hate people who skip ahead in line just because they want water. What do you think this is? A drinking fountain? Wait in line.

I look to my left, and there is the Cheese Danish again…staring at me. As I peer closer my eyes become fixated on the Danish and the world makes this sucking sound kind of like the sound that happened in the show LOST when a character would shift from the current time-line to a memory sequence or alternate time-line. “You’re going to buy me. You’re going to buy me, then you’re going to eat me. Everything in your life has been preparing you for this one moment. We are one…at least, we soon will be. You need my cheese.”

With those words, “You need my cheese.” Something happened. I realized that this Cheese Danish actually knew me, the real me. So I decided that I would buy it. It finally was my turn to order and I asked for a refill on my ice water. Then I looked over at the case again and said, “And one Cheese Danish please.” The barista looked at my like I had spoken some kind of ancient code that was about to unlock secrets known only by a very small elite. She smiled and said, “Cheese Danish, huh? Looks good!”

I scratched my three day old beard as if to say, “Don’t toy with me woman, give me the Danish.” The pastry case opened and in came a piece of wax paper to pick up the Danish. Then the Barista asked, “Do you want your Cheese Danish on a plate?” I smiled and nodded. As she handed me the Cheese Danish on a plate I quickly returned to my seat, almost forgetting to take my water.

As I sat and ate my Cheese Danish, it sent me a final message…”The circle is now complete.”