boxes in boxes
This cycle is turning into a monster one. It’s almost two and a half months into this one. I haven’t gotten sick or even had a cold in over two months. I can’t remember the last time I experienced any serious discomfort. Work is manageable and I’ve been hitting my work goals.
One of the strange benefits to the energy cultivation has been reading. I’ve been reading, “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” and also Euclid’s, “Elements Book I and II.” These books have been great and normally I would have a tough time with them. But Zarathustra has been casual reading on my phone.
The comprehension is phenomenal and my memory is without a doubt improving as a result of the cultivation.
The over-the-head back exercises used to be my bottleneck barometer for strength at the gym. I seemed to be capped at 125 lbs which was going in an out with 110 lbs in conjunction with each energy cycle. But the last few days, 125lbs has been the norm and it doesn’t feel like a barrier anymore. Maybe the tendons are getting stronger, I’m not really sure.
The stupid part about all this is that the deeper into the celibate cultivation, the easier it’s been talking to girls. Maybe it’s because I’m not worried about the physical side of things anymore.
I’m considering saving up some money and eventually going back to school in 5 years. But this time I want to get a hardcore science degree in Math. My International Relations degree is great and it’s gotten me some work. But now that I’m reading Euclid, I’m realizing that this geometry and math stuff is a ton of fun.
Who would have thought that there’d be jokes in the introduction of a geometry book? Some of them involving Epicurean ideas were hilarious.
The one thing I learned from going back to school and finishing my degree, was that walking into a class already prepared makes the whole process much more enjoyable. That’s why I don’t want to do the math degree for five years or so. I want to have all the books already partially assimilated so that I’m not running into the class blind.
I was talking with my Dad and I said that some people are gifted with a photographic memory, but everyone is built in with a holographic one.
When we look at the sidewalk and see the walkway get more narrow a block or so away…that is an illusion. It is an illusion of depth perception that our brains decode from sensory information in order to increase our chances for survival. When we walk a block further into the next area, we do not see the a more narrow piece of sidewalk. We see it in a normal size. The world is an illusion and our perception of the world is an illusion that helps to make sense of an illusion.
Honestly, I have little confidence that the world is the same after deep sleep.
I think that deep sleep is a form of teleportation/nexus-traveling between illusory worlds. When I say illusory worlds, I’m including myself in that as well. I think I am an illusion just as much as anyone or anything else is. That doesn’t mean that there can’t be fun and enjoyable relationships between friends and family. It just means that I’m comfortable with the idea. That’s all.
Anyways, back to sleeping. I’ve been able to identify two different types of sleep. There’s the kind of sleep where my mind gets to rest and my body somewhat rests. And there’s a type of sleep where something serious is going on. I had a dream the other night that I’m not going to talk about or write down in any journal. I think it may have been a pocket somewhere. A form of communication if you will. It didn’t seem like I was sleeping and having a dream. I was actually in a place, that even in the dream, I knew the place was totally unreal and could not exist. But even in knowing that, I did not exit the dream in any way. It actually got more interesting and strange at that point.
I have a feeling that dreams like that are when serious transportation between realities takes place. The interesting thing, is that I don’t know if my body is what is traveling…or if it is my consciousness/mind/soul. But that actually is a moot point because regardless of if it is the body or mind that travels, if the receptacle is the mind or the body, it will always appear that the body has traveled. That is because the body is what remains in front of the mirror after traveling.
Meditation to music has been excellent. It is like take a mini-wormhole by just sitting in my chair. I’ve been listening to Steve Hillage’s album called Rainbow Dome Musick. It is phenomenal. I picked it up at random when I was at Amoeba last time. It wasn’t completely random because I was on a budget and wanted a new Steve Hillage album. But I had never heard of it before, so it was at least impromptu.
I’ve found that losing consciousness during music is actually quite beneficial. It’s strange, because the Zen masters I’ve been reading seem to talk about drowsiness and say that in meditation one should not lose consciousness. But then I’ve read about other Zen masters who do a sort of lucid dreaming. I’m not sure how what I’m doing fits into any of this but I don’t really care either.
-Tyler
