cards cards and more cards
“Hello sir, would you like to take advantage of our membership card?” Why don’t they just ask, “Hi, would you like more garbage to put on your keychain, some more heaviness in your wallet, and a little extra SPAM in your e-mail inbox?” I love how they tell you how much you saved by using their card. You just saved twenty dollars by using your Inane Card. Thanks. Too bad all your items are 20% overpriced or more. I go through my wallet every couple months to see what kind of a landfill it’s turned into. Pretty soon there are going to be access cards that people are going to need to use in order to activate your membership card. I told that to the guy at the grocery store and he said, “You should invent that!” And I thought to myself, “Why would I do that? That sounds like an even bigger hassle.” What a sassy grocery store clerk. I expect that in the future people will gladly accept universal identification cards or implants in order to store all this nonsense. The logic behind it will be. “It will make you free of all the clutter!” Why carry twenty cards when you can have just one…in your arm.
This reminds me of a Stargate SG-1 Episode. What happened was that Doctor Daniel Jackson was on a planet trying to convince people to not use a space based weapon on their neighbors. But he got captured and so his spaceship friends were worried about them. They were on a mission to destroy the powerful and dangerous satellite before it could be activated. But they hadn’t heard from Daniel so they decided to “beam” him onto the ship from orbit. But when the spaceship captain did that, all they got was Doctor Jackson’s arm-band location device. They crew was upset that they weren’t able to get Doctor Jackson.
On the next episode the space ship needed to beam the SG-1 team from somewhere. But this time the ship was able to do so, because the team had location devices implanted in their bodies.
-Tyler