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Chipotle BBQ - Veggie Grill

Veggie Grill

University Center – Irvine
4213 Campus Drive, Irvine, CA 92612 | map
Phone 949.509.0003 | hours 11am to 10pm

Eight dollars and fifty cents for fake meat. It comes with a bun and lots of sauce, some lettuce and a tomato. Don’t forget the tiny side of veggie chili. This is what my Monday ritual has become, every time I enter the Veggie Grill in Irvine, California. I’ve never been to a restaurant before and only tried one dish after visiting the place literally dozens of times. The first time I saw the Chipotle BBQ sandwich on the menu I knew that it was going to taste great. And I was proven right, time and time again. The sauce is slightly spicy and tangy and mildly sweet. And the bun is so soft and perfectly toasted. But the fake meat is some kind of seitan or some other substitute. The Veggie Grill menu calls it, “Marinated Veggie-Steak.” I have no idea what it is made out of but each bite is like eating a Saucy Barbecued cloud from heaven. But they want Nine Dollars for it after tax, and that’s not including tip. That’s NO JOKE. But deliciousness comes at a price. And it seems that this fake meat stuff is supposed to be healthy so that at least consoles me a little bit. My main problem is that after ordering the Chipotle BBQ sandwich, I then get hungry again while waiting for my writer’s group to start and then I order some Egg Rolls from Jack in the Box. So don’t expect this sandwich to fill you up. It only makes you hungrier.

The size of the sandwich is small, but there is a decent amount of fake meat on it. I usually eat the entire thing in about 4 minutes. I have never had any problems digesting it. It always goes down very smoothly, despite the rapid rate in which I eat it. Everybody tells me that I need to try their fries. So I guess I’ll do that the next time I go there.

The consistency and texture of the veggie-steak is delectable and scrumptious. I can’t get enough of it. I could probably eat three of their sandwiches at a single sitting if I could afford them. And if they had a Chipotle BBQ bowl over rice I would probably eat there more often. I have eaten at vegetarian restaurants before but this sandwich is my favorite of all time. I think I like it even more than any meat counterpart that I’ve tried. And that is saying a great deal. It tastes better than pulled pork, and definitely better than beef. My friend says that this is one of their most popular items and I can totally believe it. It has a flavor that is remarkable and at the same time feels light and healthy. I have no idea how they pulled that off.

The main difference from the Chipotle BBQ sandwich as opposed to an expensive burger at a sit down restaurant, is that the Chipotle BBQ sandwich is smaller. It is much smaller than let’s say, a burger from Ruby’s or Johnny Rocket’s. But I feel that the flavor is far superior. And it doesn’t sit like a lump in the stomach the same way as its real meat counterparts. But it also isn’t as filling, so there is a trade off.

A great thing about the Veggie Grill in Irvine, in the University Center near UCI, is that the service is extremely fast and pleasant. The staff is always respectful and courteous. They are also fast to take orders and fast to get them to you. It isn’t a TRUE sit down restaurant because you take your order at a counter. But they do take your order to you when it’s ready. But they don’t refill drinks or water for you. You have to do that yourself. I think their prices would be even higher if it was a full sit down dining experience with a waiter and everything. So with that in mind, I’m glad they are the way they are.

Soon I will try new items on their menu. When that happens I will report back to you.

-Tyler

New York - Ice Cream

A pint of Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream tastes great but now my side hurts. I don’t think human beings are meant to process so much flavor. It is like telling a mouse to eat a burrito. The mouse will try, but will probably explode afterward. Well, I haven’t actually exploded yet. But that is probably because I only ate 80% of the pint of ice cream. The flavor on this stuff is delectable and smooth. It is very creamy and delicious. Here’s some of the nutritional information: 300 Calories per serving… YEAH RIGHT. Like I’m just going to eat one serving. Make that three on a good day. Let’s see… 20 grams of fat per serving! That’s enough for the entire day if you eat the entire pint. No wonder I’m in pain. 5 grams of protein per serving, well at least I’ll get big muscles from eating this.

I’m not sure why New York ice cream is fudge. There’s white chocolate chunks in it also. Perhaps that’s to demonstrate New York’s diversity. And there’s other strange things in this ice cream as well. There’s walnuts, and pecans, and…egg yolks??? That’s weird. The walnuts taste so good. Sometimes they are covered in chocolate and so they melt in your mouth. I want to go back in time and eat it over and over again.

If you are the kind of person who is tempted to eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in one sitting and then regret it a few hours later…then STAY AWAY from New York Super Fudge Chunk! On the other hand you may be the kind of person who loves eating pints at a time. Then by all means, indulge.

Some people eat ice cream because they are bored, others eat it because they want something creamy or sweet. I on the other hand like to eat ice cream because it stimulates strange pleasure centers in my brain. I’m guessing it stimulates the “Fatassathalmus” Cortex. Whenever I eat the stuff I feel good in a very ridiculous way. There is no real reason for the pleasure. Why do I get pleasure out of eating creamy delicious snacks? My only theory is that the parasites in my body like the flavor of ice cream and so they stimulate my brain with pleasure to reward me. Basically I am a snack puppet.

Have you noticed that there are a lot of depictions in the media of women eating ice cream while laying in bed? I’ve noticed that and I can’t figure out if they are depicting an already ongoing trend for women, or if they are trying to force feed laziness and hedonistic pleasure down our throats. It’s probably a bit of both. Have you ever seen a real women eat ice cream in bed? It is disturbing. If you are a man and are in the room, it is like you don’t even exist. Try having a conversation with her. It is like talking to a man while he is skydiving. Sure, there’s communication, but your partner isn’t quite focused on the conversation 100%. The priorities are different.

So yes, New York is now in my stomach. And I am going to visit the city soon. Perhaps I will have a deeper understanding of the city now that I’ve eaten the ice cream.

-Tyler

Barilla Cut Spaghetti

I’ve slurped up more Chicken Noodle Soup in my life than a rainbow eats leprechauns. So I know my soup. And there are certain types of noodles that work better than others. For example, bow tie pasta is good in chicken noodle soup. But penne pasta tastes weird and too thick. Also long pieces of spaghetti is annoying when trying to eat chicken noodle soup. But the Barilla Cut Spaghetti is the perfect bite sized texture that works wonderfully as the noodles for the soup. What I like most about the texture is how the ends of the spaghetti pieces tickle the tongue while I chew and slurp the soup. The sides of the cut spaghetti are generally slimy and slippery. Yet the ends are blunt and a little bit frayed by the cooking process and hydration. Here’s some of the nutritional information on the cut spaghetti: 200 calories per serving – 35% daily value of Thiamin – 40% daily value of Folate – 7 grams of protein per serving.

It’s spaghetti…only smaller!

-Tyler