New York - Ice Cream
A pint of Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream tastes great but now my side hurts. I don’t think human beings are meant to process so much flavor. It is like telling a mouse to eat a burrito. The mouse will try, but will probably explode afterward. Well, I haven’t actually exploded yet. But that is probably because I only ate 80% of the pint of ice cream. The flavor on this stuff is delectable and smooth. It is very creamy and delicious. Here’s some of the nutritional information: 300 Calories per serving… YEAH RIGHT. Like I’m just going to eat one serving. Make that three on a good day. Let’s see… 20 grams of fat per serving! That’s enough for the entire day if you eat the entire pint. No wonder I’m in pain. 5 grams of protein per serving, well at least I’ll get big muscles from eating this.
I’m not sure why New York ice cream is fudge. There’s white chocolate chunks in it also. Perhaps that’s to demonstrate New York’s diversity. And there’s other strange things in this ice cream as well. There’s walnuts, and pecans, and…egg yolks??? That’s weird. The walnuts taste so good. Sometimes they are covered in chocolate and so they melt in your mouth. I want to go back in time and eat it over and over again.
If you are the kind of person who is tempted to eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in one sitting and then regret it a few hours later…then STAY AWAY from New York Super Fudge Chunk! On the other hand you may be the kind of person who loves eating pints at a time. Then by all means, indulge.
Some people eat ice cream because they are bored, others eat it because they want something creamy or sweet. I on the other hand like to eat ice cream because it stimulates strange pleasure centers in my brain. I’m guessing it stimulates the “Fatassathalmus” Cortex. Whenever I eat the stuff I feel good in a very ridiculous way. There is no real reason for the pleasure. Why do I get pleasure out of eating creamy delicious snacks? My only theory is that the parasites in my body like the flavor of ice cream and so they stimulate my brain with pleasure to reward me. Basically I am a snack puppet.
Have you noticed that there are a lot of depictions in the media of women eating ice cream while laying in bed? I’ve noticed that and I can’t figure out if they are depicting an already ongoing trend for women, or if they are trying to force feed laziness and hedonistic pleasure down our throats. It’s probably a bit of both. Have you ever seen a real women eat ice cream in bed? It is disturbing. If you are a man and are in the room, it is like you don’t even exist. Try having a conversation with her. It is like talking to a man while he is skydiving. Sure, there’s communication, but your partner isn’t quite focused on the conversation 100%. The priorities are different.
So yes, New York is now in my stomach. And I am going to visit the city soon. Perhaps I will have a deeper understanding of the city now that I’ve eaten the ice cream.
-Tyler