The big dots are Nexus Points
A nexus is Latin for a “connection.” I have had this experience…a feeling as if I am in such a state of clear consciousness, that I can see through a long cave. And the cave is made of myselves, at different intervals of time and space. And I can see layers of being. Have you ever been in a cave or a long winding passageway where the turns make it so you can’t see the other side? Well that’s what life usually feels like for me. It feels like I don’t exactly know where I’ve come from and I don’t know where I’m going. But during this Nexus experience, I feel like I know not only where I’ve been and where I’ve come from; but I understand all the steps that brought me there. It is the same feeling for the future. The future seems to become less like an unknown and more like a clear decision that is guided by my will and the ground is paved by destiny. It is a long winding cave with many mirrors. Then I see a certain point in the cave, and the entire cave itself starts to change shape and straighten out. And I am able to see the mouth of the front entrance of the cave, as well as the distant exit. I remember when this nexus happened, I felt like I could breathe. I mean really breathe. It was cold outside and I could feel the air filling my lungs. The air tastes clean and crisp and almost minty.
It took a great deal of discipline to read that nexus point. I ate a vegetarian diet and exercised regularly as well as engaged in Kundalini Yoga. Part of that was synchronizing the body with the mind. By doing breathing techniques and eating well, I could feel my body very clearly. It isn’t how I’ve been feeling lately when I’ve been drinking lots of milk and caffeine, basically being a blob. There is a great deal of energy that is exerted when we do anything. Even something as simple as taking a walk around the block generates heat and burns a few calories, brain activity increases, oxygen intake changes. I have read things that say that people can change things and attract money and other pleasures by thinking about it. That makes a little bit of sense because using your brain is really the first step of attaining any goal. But it is the actual action that gets the ball rolling. When I entered the nexus point that I mentioned earlier, I was engaging in a lot of physical actions that were centered on my mind and body and spiritual well being. I was actually spending time on those areas of my life. And that is why I think I was able to enter the nexus. Because I worked for it.
I remember that I could only stay in the nexus for a short time. I wasn’t really ready for the sense of control and power that I was feeling. It was similar to walking on a tight rope with the wind at my back. I didn’t trust my sense of balance, so I decided to crawl across the rope instead of walking briskly.
Recently I read something that said the night is when the work gets done for the person who is trying to affect the invisible world. I couldn’t agree more. There is something unbeatable about working alone in the darkness. It is just you and your mind. Whatever distractions that come to be are usually deliberate.
So recently I have been feeling this nexus state. But instead of a physical feeling that is attached to the breath. This time it more like a premonition of the future. It unfolds as I examine statistics and go over details. Instead of a cave that I can almost see. There is a distant place growing. A city perhaps. But it is changing and adapting. And I know it is somewhere. We are linked, as if through simple connections. I want this place to exist. So I work methodically to build a bridge to get there. But through the simple actions of building the bridge, the city itself grows on the other side. It prepares itself for the moment that the bridge is complete.
-Tyler