Sitting in Silence can contrast with everyday usual interactions. After sitting in silence for about 3 hours or more, going back to walking around and interacting with people in the world just isn’t the same. My experience with this happened today when I was reading and working in my journal for about three hours this afternoon. I was deeply immersed in what I was doing and even though I was surrounded by people in the Starbucks in Orange, I didn’t talk to any of them and remained still and silent. It wasn’t deep meditation that one would attain in private by focusing on nothing. It was more of a heightened state of focus and relaxation that had some similarities with my experience watering the plants. And when I walked around outside and acknowledged people passing by on the street, life felt totally different and fresh. It was as if refraining from interaction and basic forms of social stimulation charged a reservoir inside me. Then when I was finally re-released into the world, it felt more real and tangible. I cared more about my surroundings and felt more rooted in them. It was the complete opposite of the fuzzy feeling one undergoes when they first wake up. It was an alertness and comprehension of the self and the outside of self. Yet at the same time there was a greater sense of oneness with my surroundings and the people there than I’ve felt in a long time.
One thing that was interesting about the whole experience was that it affected by depth perception. I was able to notice the great beauty in looking far into the patterns of the vanishing point of a sidewalk. I simply noticed the repeating trees and the lines getting smaller and smaller. People walking to a fro, into my perception and then out of it. There was a serenity and tranquility that felt alien and new.
As I sit here going back to those moments in my mind, I try to remember what I did to get to that state of awareness. The main thing that comes to mind was the feeling of doing something like reading and maximizing the learning and pleasure I gained from it. And when the reading started to get overwhelming and began to feel tedious, I immediately switched gears into journaling. The end result was perfect. I expressed myself without loosing any energy. It was as if I was tired of walking and so I jumped on a bicycle. They both are a form of work, and yet the change from one to the other was energizing. And then when I got tired of journaling I stopped and just sat in stillness and silence. That was the catalyst that brought my outside of my regular ego environment. Time lost its meaning and I was floating along in a stream of possibilities. Every thought was a thought that I actually wanted to experience. I wasn’t focused on desires. Then I drank some of my iced tea and began reading again. This time with renewed vigor. And I started the whole process over again.
Controlling one’s own mind is key. But sometimes the best way to learn control of the mind, is to allow the mind to drift and pull in different directions and then analyze where the mind went, and why. Then after time, one can discern patterns in how his or her own mind works. Do I get sidetracked by certain types of thoughts all the time? Do I loose my concentration often when a certain thing happens? In my experience, I have found that I definitely fall into patterns of behavior. It is almost uncanny how I create situations that I know will distract me from what I really want to be doing, and then I engage in those distractions anyway. It is a form of back sliding that needs to be confronted every day in order to make actual progress into sharpening the mind. Because all our minds really are, is a tool designed to help us navigate through existence.
-Tyler
