By Car Johnson
If you decide to get an operation, make sure you don’t go to some basement doctor with a hacksaw. My friend Joe did that and he didn’t become a she, he became a ‘’Oh my God, what the hell is that?!” Joe told everyone he got a job as a sideshow freak, but there hadn’t been any sideshows around here for eighty years. He really just ran up to random strangers on the street and forced them to pay to make him go away.
I felt sorry for Joe, so I decided to create my own sideshow and hire him as one of the acts. Since a sideshow can’t consist of one hacked up man, I went freak hunting. I found a pair of Siamese twins, some dude with no chin, and a priest who wasn’t into little boys. The priest was my start attraction. I rented an old warehouse, printed up some posters, and waited…and waited…and waited. It turned out that no one believed a priest couldn’t be a pedophile, so they figured I was a fraud.
Now I was out five hundred bucks and I still had to pay the freaks. So I used them to start a house cleaning service. Those Siamese twins were really good at dusting. They were also good at other tasks. I only got to sleep with them once. It was the best sex I’ve ever had, even better than the yoga instructor with the limber…everything. Too bad they weren’t prostitutes. I’d have to pay them in other ways.
They say they want romance. I don’t do romance. They don’t call me Mr. One Night Stand for nothing. I’m not sure I want to trade my poke and leave lifestyle behind, even for super hot sex. A steady diet of fancy chocolates just makes you fat and hungry for a juicy steak. And what if I find some other babe or babes that are even better? I guess I’ll just think of their super sex as a taste of what could come next. It would be an incentive to keep on banging as many broads in as many ways as I can.
Join the Car Johnson Rocks Facebook group!
Wanna talk to Car? Email him at: Car_Johnson_Rocks@hotmail.com
